I Will Possess Your Heart
by Chris Anthony
Summary: When he found me sobbing on the ground I was a far cry from who I used to be. I thought my life would never be the same again. Then I looked into his wounded blue eyes and I saw something there. I saw hope. Maybe I still did have a chance? Major Naley.


**AN**: This idea just popped into my head tonight. I thought I would try it out, and I am fully prepared for people not to like it. Haley is darker here, because of an incident that happened before the start of this story. As I say with all my stories this will either be continued, or I'll leave it as a one shot. I hope it's not that bad. If you like it, please review, because if I get enough **reviews** I'll continue it. And if you didn't like it, thanks for reading. –Chris.

I Will Possess Your Heart

Chapter 1- Your Heart is an Empty Room

**Haley's POV**

I'm cold. I'm so so cold.

Brooke stared back at me with furrowed eyebrows. I appreciated all she was doing for me, but I wasn't really here, so I couldn't thank her properly. I couldn't even process this. I couldn't process any of it. My eyes welled with tears, but I refused to let them fall. Brooke seemed really nice, but this was personal and I just wanted to be alone. Despite my best efforts the tears fell anyways. My lips trembled weakly and my body convulsed. The sobs filling the room didn't sound like my own.

Brooke threw her arms around me and stroked my hair. "I got you," she whispered.

"I'm fi…" I couldn't even get it out because I choked on the words. I latched onto Brooke's tank top for dear life. No matter how many times I pushed her away I didn't want her to leave me, because I was scared. I had never been so afraid of being alone. She held me until my sobs ceased. When the sobs were finished my body still trembled with tiny aftershocks. Brooke leaned away but her hands were still on my pale arms. Fresh tears were also in her eyes.

I sniffled. I had to get it together. I tore my blurry eyes away from her compassionate hazel orbs and looked down at my comforter. I couldn't even look at the comforter without being overwhelmed. It brought back memories of shopping in IKEA for my very first dorm. Money was tight, but I had worked all summer to make sure that I could buy what I wanted. I used to joke with my sister Taylor that I was going to pimp out my dorm.

My dorm was _pimped_, but that had nothing to do with me. I eased my arms out of Brooke's tight grasp. She apologized for cutting off my circulation and then asked me if there was anything she could get me. My throat was dry but I couldn't manage to ask her for water. I hadn't said much since that night, two days ago, so I was afraid to talk.

I was afraid that my voice would tremble and then I would start screaming. I wasn't sure why I thought I would scream, but I had so much in me. So much pain, so much hurt, that hadn't been there before. I swallowed and tried not to think about any of it. Brooke shifted her body on my bed.

I was thankful for her. She didn't know me, and I couldn't imagine going through this alone. I thought I was strong. All my life Taylor had affectionately dubbed me the soldier…_the perky soldier_. I tried to live my life to the fullest with no regrets. Life was too short to let things knock you down; I was all about getting up, and being a survivor. I only wished that I could take my advice now.

Our small dorm room was blanketed in darkness. Thin slivers of golden light seeped through the blinds. I craned my head to the right to take in the last remnants of the dusky sunrise in the breathtaking Nashville sky. I hadn't even been outside. Classes were going on and I was in here. I didn't work my ass off in high school to spend my 1st semester of college caged up in my dorm room.

"Haley you need to eat something."

I know I needed to eat. The last thing I ate was diner food, and after…after that night it had ended up all over the sidewalk. My stomach felt hollow. A loud rumble filled the room. It was my stomach begging for food. Unintentionally I had been eyeing a box of Twinkies sitting on Brooke's dresser. I didn't really know what to do with my eyes, because everywhere I looked I saw pain.

Brooke stood up. She pulled down her short red Abercrombie shorts and grabbed the box of Twinkies. "Just to hold you over until I can convince you to come to the diner. The food tastes like pig slop, but the salad bar isn't that bad." She gave me an encouraging smile. "I have beer in the mini fridge?"

I shook my head. _No_. I didn't drink.

"Sorry," Brooke apologized quickly. "I'm the girl that handles her problems through booze." She looked down causing her dark hair to fall in her face. "Dr. Pepper?"

I nodded _yes_. I couldn't believe that I hadn't realized that Brooke had virtually been in the dorm room with me all day. I knew she had classes, but when I woke up at two in the afternoon, she was at her desk looking at me. Brooke had quickly looked away, but she couldn't hide her worry even if she tried. I hurt, and I was weak, and I had trouble showing that side to strangers. But under these circumstances there was nowhere to hide.

I was like a car wreck with gasoline spilling out everywhere. All people could do was stop and watch the recovery process and wonder if anything could be salvaged. I tucked my hair behind my ears. I accepted the Twinkies and Dr. Pepper thankfully. Brooke went over to her side of the room.

"When you're ready to talk, just know that I'm here for you."

The door opened and our other roommate Rachel Gatina strolled in. If possible the day just got worse. Since moving in to the dorm a week ago she had only slept in the room once. Rachel was loud; she liked parties, boys, and walking around in her panties and bra. I had gathered all that from just a few hours with her.

"Hey bitches," she greeted.

I quickly tried to look as normal as possible. That attempt probably failed because I was unshowered, my hair was sticking up, and I probably had raccoon eyes. I didn't have it in me to look in a mirror right now. I wiped at my eyes and then reached for the remote to my 13-inch television.

"You know you could watch my baby." Rachel chirped drawing reference to her grand flat screen.

Another thing about her was that she was rich, and she needed everyone to know it. If I actually cared I would assume that she was overcompensating for something, maybe a lack of confidence? I didn't allow myself to analyze Rachel Gatina any further.

"God did someone die in here?" Rachel scowled.

_Kind of_. I thought darkly.

"No Rachel," Brooke growled. "Why are you here anyways."

"Well I do live here," Rachel hissed. She looked over at me, "What's wrong with her?" she spoke as if I wasn't even in the room.

"Just leave her alone." Brooke instructed.

I needed some air. Pushing back the covers I swiveled my legs over the side of my bed. I grabbed my shower supplies and a towel and quickly dashed out of the room. I heard Brooke call my name, but I had already closed the door in her face.

This _wasn't_ me. Yes, something really bad happened the other night, but it was done. **It was done**. Right now I longed for trips to Virginia Beach with my family, ice-cream sundaes in the summer, and my guitar. I just wanted to play a song. Something happy and optimistic.

Maybe that was what I needed. _Music_? Whenever I couldn't express myself I would just sit down and pour my heart out on to paper. To date my darkest song was written when I was a child. It was about my puppy snowflake being run over by a car. For the first time that day I cracked a smile. What I wouldn't give to have snowflake's death be the top of my saddest things ever list again.

I had two days to cope. I stayed in the dorm. Slept, stared at the walls, watched The View, but doing those things only alienated me further from myself. Brooke was there to try and help, she _knew_ what happened, only because _he_ told her, but no one else knew. Not even my parents. I felt guilty for not telling them what had happened to me, but if I could barely handle it how could they.

How could anyone handle such a hateful crime being committed?

The door opened and a bunch of people that lived on my floor rushed towards me. I felt oddly insecure. I avoided every pair of eyes. My cheeks burned. Tears welled. And my hands started to shake. I was so nervous and I couldn't turn it off even if I tried. Where was Haley James, the valedictorian? I wished that she would come out.

Once I reached the bathroom I practically dived inside like it was a safe haven. I checked underneath the stalls to make sure that no one else was in there. Relief coursed through my body when I realized that the bathroom was vacant. The mirrors were illuminated under blinding lights. They were beckoning me over just so I could get a glimpse of my shadow.

My feet inched slowly towards the mirror. For a second I had nerve, but I lost it. With a shake of my head I made my way over to the shower. I wanted to be clean but I knew that even water wouldn't give me the cleansing I needed.

***

I stood naked in the shower. As I ran the loufa over my skin I gazed up at the ceiling. I couldn't look down, because I didn't want to see…I didn't want to see myself naked. My lips trembled. For heaven's sake I was just taking a shower. My eyelids closed over my eyes as the tears started to fall again. My shoulders shook violently.

I cried for a while. I wasn't sure how long it was but I heard the bathroom door open a few times. After I thought that I had got all the tears out I turned off the faucet. My wet hair cascaded down my shoulders like swamp thing. I just wanted to feel beautiful again. I _needed_ to feel beautiful again.

I dried myself off. By mistake I gazed into the mirror. The sight nearly took me off my feet. I knew I looked bad…but _God_. Zombie like I walked over to the mirrors. Each mirror showed an image more terrifying than the first. My usual bouncy sandy brown hair was now limp and lifeless, my skin was sallow, and my eyes were expressionless. I looked _dead_. With difficulty I looked away because I didn't want to see anymore. I couldn't.

Tomorrow I would work on healing. _Just not today_.

"Not today," I croaked. I stepped away from the mirror with a balled fist.

***

When I returned back to the dorm Brooke was MIA. Rachel was still there though. She was lounging on her bed laughing at some game show where contestants got knocked over by big blue balls falling down hills.

"Dumb bitches," she sniggered.

I felt slightly better after showering.

"Hey," Rachel said in her high-pitched voice.

I gave her a tired look.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I nodded. Hopefully if I didn't say much she would get the point and leave me alone. I crawled back under my covers and rested my head on my pillow.

"Not like you need to worry because you don't go out, but just a heads up. There was a crime alert sent out this morning. Some girl was raped over by the library."

I sat up. My eyes wide open. "Why are you telling me this?"

Rachel looked back at me confused, "Um…maybe to _warn_ you. I'm not sure why I even bothered." She waved her hands in the air. "At least Brooke is normal. One out of two ain't so bad."

***

Rachel didn't leave that long after she told me about the crime alert. I was lying in the dark because she had turned off the light. She probably thought I was sleeping. In the darkness I could barely make out the picture sitting on my press. It was from my graduation in May. My parents were standing on either side of me with matching smiles and I was in the middle ecstatic. I had been flying high that day.

Four years of hard work. Four years led me to here.

"_You have to fight for what you believe in, because no one else will fight for you. When times get rough you have to carry on. Stand up tall and tell the world that you're going to go down in flames before you give up. You're going to fight because you only get one life. One chance to yell at the top of your lungs to tell the world that you can. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not good enough, because you are. The only time you'll ever fail in life is when you stop believing in yourself. So believe. Believe that you can climb the highest mountain. Believe that you can become a future CEO, and believe that even you…or me Haley James can be president of this wonderful country. This is your life, live it seniors, breathe it, because we graduated and my god isn't it swee_t!"

The door opened. Her graduation speech concluded abruptly.

"Are you sleeping Haley?" Brooke asked.

I was relieved that it was her and _not_ Rachel. "No,"

"I figured that diner food was a no go, so I stopped at the Chinese Food shop down the street. Sorry I got Chinese, but my parents haven't given me money this week, so my gas tank is on E, and I only had ten dollars to my name. One dollar now." She frowned and took a seat on the edge of my bed.

"Brooke," I croaked. "You didn't have too."

"Shush, I got cream cheese wontons and shrimp lo-mein. Shrimp is safe because you can tell what it is…except for that time I go a triangle shrimp." Brooke scrunched up her face. "I don't know what the fuck was up with that?"

I weakly smiled.

Brooke stood up and busied herself with getting a plate and fork. "Anyways you need to eat."

There was a knock on the door.

Brooke sighed exasperatedly. "I can get rid of whoever that is."

"No, you don't have to." My voice still sounded strange but at least I was using it. "Thanks again for the food. I'll pay you back."

"No, don't worry about it."

She could tell me no until she was blue in the face. I was _still_ going to pay her back. I took small bites of the shrimp lo-mein Brooke had prepared for me. The food tasted rubbery and stale…it brought new meaning to the term bad Chinese food. But I ate it, because I was starving. As Brooke opened the door I quickly picked up the _Frankenstein_ book I was assigned to read for my English 101 class.

"Hi Brooke,"

"Lucas," She sounded caught off guard.

I dropped the _Frankenstein_ book slightly because I recognized this guy. Lucas Roe lived on the first floor next to Nathan Scott. I quickly shifted my attention back to Lucas. On move in day Lucas, _a very sweaty Lucas_, had helped Brooke move up most of her belongings because her parents dropped her off and left. Brooke had given Lucas a voucher coupon to hang out, she teasingly told him it expired in October.

It took him three days to accept. Maybe he didn't want to look too desperate?

I was analyzing again.

Lucas' face was red as a tomato. "Is this a bad time?"

Before Brooke could answer, I answered for her. "_No_,"

Lucas Roe shifted his blue eyes towards me in surprise. He waved and I waved back. I even gave him a forced smile. "Sorry Haley to just drop by."

"It's okay," I said. "Brooke, you guys should hang out. He has a _voucher_ remember, and it's redeemable until October." She looked at me concerned but I told her to go on with another smile. "I have Chinese and Frankenstein. I'm good."

Lucas stared at me for a few moments. He thought I wasn't looking, but I could see him from the corner of my eye. He seemed like a really nice guy, but I was relieved when Brooke left with him. Brooke offered to call me in an hour, but I told her it wasn't necessary. I know she felt like she needed to take care of me, but I didn't want her to feel that way.

I was still in shock. The pain was fresh, and it would take longer for these scars to heal. I just needed to give myself some time. I closed the book and fell back into my bed. The soft pillow welcomed my tired head. I closed my eyes and I attempted to go to sleep. Before I drifted off the last thing I saw was him standing over my shaking figure. He picked me up in his strong arms and carried me to the health center.

Nathan. Nathan Scott, he was the one that found me after I was…after I was…raped.

I opened my eyes and clutched the sheets. My eyes started to water again. I buried my face in my pillow and muffled my sobs.

As if on cue the door opened.

I tried to stop but I only succeeded in sobbing louder.

"Lucas maybe we shouldn't hang out tonight."

"Sure, sure," He said quickly.

"Rain check?" she asked in a soft rasp.

"Of course," He whispered softly.

Brooke closed the door. "I forgot my purse. I wanted to at least _pretend_ that I was going to pay for my half of the dinner." Her voice fell. "Do you mind if I sit down beside you?"

I kept my face buried in my pillow.

Brooke kicked off her flip-flops and then she dared to lay down on my twin bed beside me. She didn't know me, but she wrapped her arms around me and rested her cheek on my back. "It's not fair that your college experience had to start off like this. College is supposed to be skipped classes, lazy Saturdays, and no parents." Brooke stroked my hair, "I know you might feel like you're in this alone. But just know that you're not. I'm here for you Haley, and if you want to talk then…"

"I'm okay," I whispered.

"No you're not," Brooke shook her head. "But it's fine because I'll be here for a while. Unfortunately you live with me."

I looked at her. She threw her arm around me and pulled me close.

Rachel came back in the room. She had a grocery bag in her hand. "Cookies and Cream Ice-Cream," she sounded gruff even if that was her best attempt at a peace offer. "It always makes me feel better…or at least it used to when I was a big girl, with plenty of junk everywhere _but_ the trunk."

"Thanks Rachel I guess?" Brooke thanked.

"Sure don't mention it." Rachel nodded with a flourish. "I brought it for Haley because she looks like she lost weight…but Brooke it looks like the freshman _50_ is attacking your hips."

"Freshman _15_, and we haven't even been in school two weeks whore!" Brooke winced and quickly apologized to me. "I'm sorry Haley,"

Rachel handed me a spoon. I was done fighting for the night. I thanked her and I dug in. I was still starved and I needed to get the bad Chinese taste out my mouth.

The ice cream didn't numb the pain, but it did help take my mind away for a few moments. Between Brooke and I we finished the ice cream. I went to sleep that night with a heavy heart. I missed home. I missed my music…and most importantly I missed _myself_. How do you deal with rape…where do you start? All I knew for sure was that there was no self-help book that could help me answer that question.

---So what did you think? Once again if you liked it please review:)


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